
So I was in IKEA not too long ago with my roomate on a mission to buy some inexpensive poorly built furniture that would make our apartment look cooler. After much deliberation we came home with a cactus and 3 kitchen towels…Anyway, the real story is what I observed happening all around me….
“Honey… I don’t think we need this lamp..its 60$ and we have one that works fine…”
“We need it! What are you talking about?! It will be gorgeous!”
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“I really like black it matches everything…”
“I don’t know the red one looks good to me”
“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m going to put a red wine rack in our kitchen…what will people say?!”
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“I don’t want swedish meatballs!!!”
OK you get the point. I basically observed the most intense power struggles of all time occuring between couples. If there’s anything in the closet it comes out at IKEA. It’s like the that space between North and South Korea where you get shot at and land mines start going off everywhere. It is the true test of who is holding the real power in a relationship. I saw a guy bordering on tears, and a women who looked like she was going to throw up when her husband wouldn’t spring for the futon that becomes a closet.
I see this a lot at the grocery store too. I’ll see someone reach for something a bit out of the ordinary, like brown eggs instead of white. There will be a reaction from the other person like “wtf man? We don’t need this shit.”. Then theres a glance back like “Oh we fucking do, and I fucking run this relationship so back the fuck off bitch.”
Am I overeading into this? I really believe this goes on all the time in relationships. It’s probably healthy. These small subconcious power struggles probably slowly let out tension to avoid a huge blowout at the end of the month.
I guess I just feel bad when I see some guys totally emasculated by their girlfriends or wives. I see some dude pushing a double stroller while his wife is on the phone. The same goes for the flip side. I’ve seen a douche bag guy forcing his girlfriend to sit in a shithole bar. I guess these little compromises are part of life?
Maybe IKEA really is the greatest store on earth. Maybe the Swedish have such low divorce rates because they get out all their frustrations in one place? Maybe the swedish meatballs are laced with crystal meth? What I do know is that when the time comes to go there with a special lady I’m going to be ready.